Made in God's Image, as a Female: Mystery and Romance

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Yesterday I wrote my first post regarding exactly how women bear the image of God in their female design. I spoke of how the beauty of woman reveals God's beauty to us, and the truth that God wants us to delight in that beauty, to enjoy His beauty, and desire Him; all the same things a woman longs for. Read my first post here

In my first post I shared the following quote which is from a letter my husband wrote to me:

"Some may say there's not much in a name, but I say there is much in the name of the one I love. She, Esther Ruth, is a "star" in my life. Out of her shines what I call true beauty; a beauty that this fallen world knows not much of. Just like the distant stars of the sky, there is a mystery about her. This mystery beckons me to stare long and hard at who she really is. Where does she come from? What's going on in the midst of her?"

I stated how perfectly those words illustrate the first three qualities I would speak of: beauty, mystery and romance (or being pursued). Today I will write about the later two of the three. Most of my quotes are taken from John and Stasi Eldredge's book entitled "Captivating".

2) After her beauty, it is in her mystery that a woman bears the image of God.

"The kind of beauty a confident woman possesses is an odd mix of mystery and warm allure that invites you always a little deeper into the essence of really knowing her." (Paula Rinehart)

"Writing a book for men (Wild at Heart) was a fairly straight-forward proposition. Not that men are simpletons. But they are the less complicated of the two genders...both men and women know this to be true. The mystery of the feminine heart was meant to be a good thing, by the way. A source of joy. Yet it has become a source of shame- women almost universally feel that they are 'too much'...and men tend to pull away from the deeper waters of a woman's soul, unsure of what they will find there or how to handle it. And so we have missed the treasure that is the heart of a woman, missed the richness femininity was meant to bring to our lives, missed the way it speaks to us of the heart of God."

"One of the deepest ways a woman bears the image of God is in her mystery. By 'mystery' we don't mean 'forever beyond your knowing,' but 'something to be explored.' Prov 25:2 "God yearns to be known. But he wants to be sought after by those who would know him. He says, 'You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.' (Jer. 29:13)"

"Is not the Trinity a great mystery? Not something to be solved, but known with ever-deepening pleasure and awe, something to be enjoyed. Just like God, a woman is not a problem to be solved, but a vast wonder to be enjoyed. This is so true of her sexuality. Few women can or even want to 'just do it.' Foreplay is crucial to her heart, the whispering and loving and exploring of one another that culminates in intercourse. That is a picture of what it means to love her soul. She yearns to be known and that takes time and intimacy...As she is sought after, she reveals more of her beauty. As she unveils her beauty, she draws us to know her more deeply. Whatever else it means to be feminine, it is depth and mystery and complexity, with beauty as its very essence."

Looking at those quotes, we can see that the kind of beauty that a confident woman possesses is a mix of mystery and warm allure. It is a mystery that, as my husband wrote, "beckons" one "to stare long and hard". Women are complex; God made them very detailed. The trinity is likewise mysterious. But that is a good thing, and when one begins to explore the mysteries, depth and richness is discovered. That brings us to a third way in which woman bears God's image.

3) Women want to be romanced, or in other words, pursued.

As Paula said in the quote above, a woman's beauty and mystery "invites you always a little deeper into the essence of really knowing her." My husband was "beckoned" to stare- for a loooooong time!

God is beautiful and mysterious. He desires that His beauty and mystery would allure us to seek Him. He promised that if we seek Him with all our heart, we would know Him. God wants to be our priority. He wants us to pursue Him, spend time with Him, talk to Him, listen to Him. He desires our attention. He longs for our love. So He put those same desires in woman, to reveal Himself to us.

A woman is beautiful and mysterious. She wants to be sought after with the whole heart of her pursuer, just as God does. She wants intimacy. She yearns to be known. She wants her husband to talk to her, listen to her, spend time with her, enjoy her. She longs for his attention and love. This is one way she bears God's image, as a female.

This is precisely why, in 1 Peter 3:7, husbands are told to live with their wives "in an understanding way" or "according to knowledge". God knows the desires of a woman because He put them there, to reveal His own desires to us. Yes, women are complex, and some men may think they will never understand a woman. But God has commanded them to at least understand their woman. A husband is commanded to know his wife. This is what every wife longs for.

Yet there is no way to grow in understanding and knowledge of a woman unless you spend time with her. Just as God does, she longs to be sought after and pursued. That is what it means to be romanced. It takes time and intimacy.

"Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought- that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us." (Stasi Eldredge)

"Most of our addictions as women flare up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after...every woman wants to be seen, wanted, and pursued...We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing." (Stasi Eldredge)

"Cut off from love, rejected, no one pursuing her, something in a woman wilts like a flower no one wants anymore. She withers into resignation, duty...the radiance of her countenance goes out...but this same woman...becomes lovely and inviting when she is pursued. Her heart begins to come alive...what happened...was merely the power of romance releasing her true beauty, awakening her heart. She has come alive. As women we long to be loved in a certain way, a way unique to our femininity. We long for romance. We are wired for it; that's what makes our heart come alive." (Stasi Eldredge)

"We don't have to be embarrassed by our desire to be romanced. It is a true, glorious longing in our hearts! It is, in fact, where we bear the image of God. God loves romance." (Stasi Eldredge)

Women do often feel unseen. Unsought. I know I do. And it is truly one of the most difficult things to deal with, when we feel like no one has the passion to pursue us. I am good enough to work and serve...and I want to do that, but I also want to be desired. Enjoyed. Pursued.

It is so true that our addictions flare up when we are not pursued. Some of us might eat to fill the loneliness. Maybe we lose ourselves in movies, or novels, or soap operas- where we can temporarily feel like we are being pursued. Maybe we busy ourselves with all sorts of service, work, and activities so that we can try and forget our desires. There are so many addictions- shopping, gossiping, exercising- the list can go on.

If we are not pursued, in our human nature, we will fill that void with our addictions while, at the same time, withering into resignation and duty. Something in us dies. It is our heart. Our feminine heart that longs to be romanced, to be noticed, to be wanted.

But when we are romanced, boy do we come alive in all our feminine glory!

Husbands are commanded to love us the way we need to be loved- to pursue us (that is how they get to know us and understand the depths of us). But husbands are humans who sin and fail.

"You are made for romance, and the only one who can offer it to you consistently and deeply is Jesus."

In that quote, Stasi is not saying that Jesus is the only one who can offer us romance. No, God does want our husbands to meet those needs. BUT the only one who can offer us romance CONSISTENTLY and DEEPLY is Jesus.

"We have all heard it said that a woman is most beautiful when she is in love. It's true. When a woman knows that she is loved, she glows from the inside. This radiance stems from a heart that has had its deepest questions answered. "Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? Have I been and will I continue to be romanced?" When these questions are answered, yes, a restful, quiet spirit settles in a woman's heart."

"You have been and you will continue to be romanced all your life...every memory you cherish, every moment that has moved you to holy tears, all have been given to you from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breath in order to win your heart. God's version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on the lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens and fierce devotion...He knows what takes your breath away, knows what makes your heart beat faster."

"We have missed many of his love notes simply because we shut down our hearts in order to endure the pain of life. Now, we must open our hearts again...so that we can hear his whispers, receive his kisses...If we listen, a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart...it whispers to us in the wind...reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love...we've sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean...Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing, deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty and adventure."

"God has been wooing you ever since you were a little girl...What romanced your heart as a girl? Horses in a field? The fragrance of the air after a summer rain? Was it a favorite book like the Secret Garden? The first snowfall in winter?...These were all whispers from your Lover, notes sent to awaken your heart's longings."

"God has written the romance not only on our hearts but all over the world around us. What we need is for him to open our eyes, to open our ears that we might recognize his voice calling to us, see his hand wooing us in the beauty that quickens our heart."

"The whole world was made for romance- the rivers and glens, the meadows and beaches. Flowers, music, a kiss. But we have a way of forgetting all that, losing ourselves in work and worry. Eve-God's message to the world in feminine form-invites us to romance. Through her, God makes romance a priority of the universe."

"Life changes dramatically when romance comes into our lives. Christianity changes dramatically when we discover that it, too, is a great romance. That God yearns to share a life of beauty, intimacy and adventure with us..."

"We were created to be the object of desire and affection of one who is totally and completely in love with us...What would it be like to experience for yourself that the truest thing about his heart toward yours is not disappointment or disapproval but deep, fiery, passionate love? That is, after all, what a woman was made for."

Beauty and mystery invite us to go deeper. If you hear beautiful music, you want to sit down and listen again and drink it in. It captures your attention. A garden calls one to enter in, explore, and feast upon the beauty. A great book draws us in, we can't wait to get back to it, spend time with it. These are all of the responses that God wants of us. All of the responses a woman wants too.

God is beautiful, mysterious, and longs to be sought after. That is why He put these qualities in females...that is how we bear the image of the One who made us. When we look at all that He created, we know God loves romance. He invented it. And because He loves romance, so does woman. It is another way we reveal God to the world.

The above are where and how females bear God's image, but there are more ways. I will discuss these in my last post on this topic.

Made in God's Image, as a Female: Beauty

The Bible tells us that humans were made in the image of God Himself. Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

Male and Female. Both were made in God's image, but not in the same way. One was made a male and the other a female. We were not made in the image of God physically, since God is a spirit. So we can conclude we were made in His image inside of us. There are many characteristics of God that both man and woman share, but there are some that are distinctively given to each particular gender to show forth an aspect of God's image through that gender.

So, as a woman, how do you reveal God's nature to the world? If you are a man reading this, how does your wife, daughter, sister, girlfriend, etc. display the image of her Maker to those around her? I learned so much through reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. I will be quoting from them much in this post. As they wrote in their book, "What did God mean when He created woman in His image? God wanted to reveal something about Himself, so he gave us Eve. What can we learn from her?"

I will begin with the words written by my husband many years ago in a letter to me, because, as you will see, they so perfectly illustrate the first three ways women bear the image of God in their femininity.

"Some may say there's not much in a name, but I say there is much in the name of the one I love. She, Esther Ruth, is a "star" in my life. Out of her shines what I call true beauty; a beauty that this fallen world knows not much of. Just like the distant stars of the sky, there is a mystery about her. This mystery beckons me to stare long and hard at who she really is. Where does she come from? What's going on in the midst of her?"

My husband mentioned how he found in me beauty and mystery and how those characteristics "beckoned" him to stare long and hard! So these will be the first three characteristics I shall speak of.

1) More than anything else in creation, a woman reveals God's beauty to the world. She was God's most detailed creation, and her body alone is God's most beautiful work of art. John mentioned in his book how he and his wife realized that most of the paintings they saw in museums showing the naked form were ones of women. They did not see a single painting of a nude man, though some do exist. God made a man strong, and a woman beautiful. Her form, her face, her eyes...they all reveal the beauty of God.

Women are born wanting to be beautiful. Little girls like to dress up as princesses and brides and the like, to brush each others hair, and dance around the house. They want to capture attention, especially that of their daddies. They are asking, either aloud or just inside, "Do you think I'm beautiful?" Why? Because it is part of who they are to ask such a question; instinctively, they know that one of their purposes in life is to reveal the beauty of God.

The Eldredges told a story of a little girl who went from office to office, singing for everyone, fully expecting to be delighted in: "A little girl in her glory, unashamed in her desire to delight, and be delighted in." They shared another story of a six year old girl who told her mother about the most wonderful dream she had ever had. She was a queen, in a beautiful dress and with a crown upon her head. Her mother asked her why it was such a wonderful dream and the daughter answered, "I just love feeling that way!" When asked what way, she spoke one word as her answer: "Beauty."

Of course, outward beauty does not hold substance. Women can show the beauty of God most through their inner loveliness. In 1 Peter, God exhorts women to not be merely beautiful on the outside, but that they should cultivate inner beauty, which is very precious to Him. Women want to have this inner beauty, the kind that a good man is drawn to and that their girlfriends appreciate.

"Every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil. Not to conjure, but to unveil. Most women feel the pressure to be beautiful from very young, but that is not what I speak of. There is also a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty and be delighted in." (John Eldredge)

"What a man is usually drawn to in a woman is two steps past her physical appearance. While he may lack the words to express this, intuitively he knows he has stumbled on someone who can glimpse his heart, who seems to know him in ways he has always longed to be known. A man has a hunger that can only be touched by the innate kind of beauty you possess." (Paula Rinehart in her book Sex and the Soul of a Woman).

I know that one of my greatest desires is to be delighted in, to be enjoyed and desired. From God and from my husband, and all others whom I touch. It is inner beauty that is delighted in. What does this inner beauty look like? A "gentle" and "quiet" spirit, according to God's word. That simply means a spirit at rest, quieted by God's love and walking in a peaceful way. Not striving. "The only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving." (Eldredge)

"A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know Him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest...she speaks comfort...she assures others all is well and all will be well...she offers others grace to be and the room to become...like a release...we can breathe...A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful."

"Every once in a while, a woman walks into a room and you know that she knows that God calls her beautiful. There is peace and strength and energy that come from belonging to Him. There is confidence that is captivating." (Angela Hunt in her book "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?")

What is so important about beauty? Do we need it? Does the world need beauty? Yes, for beauty speaks to us that all is well, it comforts and inspires us, and it nourishes us: "It is the kind of food our souls crave. A woman's breast is among the loveliest of all God's works, and it is with her breast that she nourishes a baby- a stunning picture of the way in which beauty itself nourishes us."

"Beauty is transcendent- it is our most immediate experience of the eternal...sometimes the beauty is so deep it pierces us with longing...for life as it was meant to be. Beauty reminds us of an Eden we have never known, but somehow know our hearts were created for. Beauty speaks of heaven to come, when all shall be beautiful. It haunts us with eternity. Beauty says, there is a glory calling to you. And if there is a glory, there is a source of glory. What great goodness could have possibly created this? What generosity gave us this to behold? Beauty draws us to God."

"Beauty is the essence of a woman. We want to be perfectly clear that we mean both physical beauty and a soulful/spiritual beauty...the world cheapens and prostitutes beauty, making it all about a perfect figure few women can attain, but christians minimize it too, or overspiritualize it, making it all about "character"...God gave Eve a beautiful form and a beautiful spirit. She expresses beauty in both."

"I sit outside on a summer evening and just listen and behold and drink it all in, and my heart begins to quiet and peace begins to come into my soul...This is what it's like to be with a woman at rest, a woman comfortable in her feminine beauty. She is enjoyable to be with. She is lovely...You relax and believe once again that all will be well."

I recently found an amazing poem which partly read as such: "The face is like that of an angel...The skin of the creation is like dove's silk. The scent of the hair is sweeter than rose petals. The touch is gentle and comforting. This creation is woman... Her warm embrace is like a soft blanket. Her smile fills my heart with joy...Her beauty is inside and out; yes, this is true, but I speak not of her beauty alone. For her beauty proclaims God's glory...even if she said not a word, who she is would show God's glory and beauty."

C.S. Lewis once wrote: "The beauty of the female is the root of joy to the female as well as to the male...to desire the enjoying of her own beauty is the obedience of Eve, and to both it is in the lover that the beloved tastes her own delightfulness." Yes, that is a deep quote. Read it again. There is an important truth in it.

"The reason a woman wants a beauty to unveil, the reason she asks, Do you delight in me? is simply because God does as well. God is captivating beauty."

To desire the enjoying of her own beauty is the obedience of Eve. Wow, that is powerful insight.

Women are just obeying (instictively) their nature as females when they want to be beautiful, desired, enjoyed and delighted in. As Angela Thomas wrote, "The longing to be known as beautiful is a part of our design as women. God put us together this way on purpose. We are wired to long for beauty and to be known as beautiful." God wants all the same things, so He has put those characterisitcs of Himself in woman to reveal His own beauty and His desire for us to enjoy that beauty!

**Now, for a side note. God desires to use fathers and husbands and friends to affirm a woman's beauty...but none can answer this question that is attached to a woman's soul- Do You Think I'm Beautiful?- the way only God can.

"If the question "Do you think I'm beautiful?" came attached to my soul, then maybe the answer wasn't ever meant to fully come from this world. Maybe the purpose of the question is to take me by the hand and walk me into the presence of the Creator."

"The questions are rightfully mine, but the answers that truly fill and give stregnth will come only from God. It is so okay for my soul and yours to scream, "Do you think I'm beautiful?" And there is a transformation happening in my life as I listen to God tell me, resoundingly, "Yes"...If I knew that God called me beautiful, I could pursue my passions and live and love with abandon...the desparate search would be over. I would be noticed. Desired. Known." (Angela Thomas)

Do you now see how females were born with this longing to be beautiful? Do you understand why they have such a longing? Do you comprehend what the longing speaks to us of God? About His beauty? And about His desire for us to notice, enjoy and delight in His beauty?

These longings a woman has are not wrong. They were put there by the God who made them. They are, in fact, one of the ways women bear the image of God as females.

In my next post, I will write about the next way women reveal God's image...and it was also illustrated in my husband's letter to me.